Taking a break

I love writing. But in the last few weeks I didn't write much. I still published a post each week and was tracking this with a habit tracker. But I quickly slipped into writing each post shortly before the deadline just to have something published. I didn't write to learn or to tell a story, but because everyone I admire is a prolific writer and I wanted to be like them.

If you know where you want to go, deadlines are a useful tool to accomplish good things over putting them off due to an unattainable sense of perfection. If you don't know where to go, deadlines turn the explorative process that doesn't have a clear direction yet into frantic hopping on one place.

Today I came closer to a mental breakdown than I remember happening in a long time. I stopped tracking the habit for now.