What's next?

Every once in a while, I come across a story that gives me a wake-up call. Yesterday, I came across one of these in the form of Arcane, a Netflix series set in the League of Legends universe. It wasn't a specific point in the story that resonated with me. It was just great storytelling. Often, when I come across such a story, I say to myself "That's exactly what I want to do." And then I go ahead and don't do it.

I want to write fiction. I also have the sense that this isn't a worthy goal. Our world is shaped by apathy and mindless consumption. Our attention is captured by media corporation that harvest this scarcest of resources in an attempt to sell ads. We are overwhelmed with opinion pieces, Instagram stories, and Netflix shows. And while most people engage in their social media addiction, the algorithms driving said engagement create outrage, make it impossible for people to agree on a shared reality, and tear society apart in a chase of short-term profits. Never before was it more important to think about how to use the technologies employed by these companies to facilitate human happiness, free societies, and sustainability instead of division. What we don't need are some badly told stories by yet another random dude on the internet in a self-aggrandising quest for attention.

But what if this view is just driven by fear? Yesterday, I desired with an uttermost clarity to write stories. I was also scared shitless just thinking about it. What if this dire vision of the world is exacerbated by my stupid friend protecting me from going down a path of uncertainty, a path I don't know where it will lead me. A stupid friend, who just wants me to be safe, to take the obvious road, and to keep me on my trajectory. I like my current job. It's a solid 8/10. I'm working on cutting edge technology to build voice AI. The job is well-paid, fun, and challenging. I have awesome colleagues. But it's also a mission I couldn't care less about. Outside of my job, I've never even used a voice assistant. And so it feels like my trajectory is preparing me for a life of quiet desperation with more money than I know how to spend, and even more misery.

I'm saying I should work on things "beneficial for society", but all I want to do is write stories. And so I'm doing neither, wasting my time instead. Almost two months ago, I wrote the last post for my daily blogging experiment. Since then, I haven't written anything, not for my blog, and not in private. It's time to change that.